Tuesday, May 04, 2010

3 Ninjas Kick Back! (part 2)

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

I know, I know, next week's post in less than a day, who am I!? GOD!? Nope. Just Dingbang. I've broken real ground with 3NKB. Last we heard, I was finally past that cursed first level, I breezed past the second, and was on the third. Well, zone, not level, technically. But who are you to question my labels?

The next few parts were relatively easy, until I ran into a large problem. But more on that later. Here's a slideshow of what you missed. (If you would prefer, play Yakety Sacks as we run these down.)

After the third "zone" of the first level, you go to the second level. You start off with this awesome set of pictures, and then you're off to get some stuff from Grampa's cabin.

At the end of the cabin you meet up with a giant dude. That's right. We're sending gigantic hunks of muscle to beat up little children. And I still whooped his ass.

After the cabin you go through a secret cave. It's chocked full of ninjas and bullshit cheap shots. Ninjas smoke in behind tree roots, (which you're behind) frequently camp and firebomb the tops of ladders and ropes, and sit on ledges waiting until the slightest pixel of you jumps from a trampoline up just to shoot you down.

After the caves, you go to Grampa's hospital. Whooooo. You have to free some people from the 'Grungers.' You know, the retards from the cabin. I even caught some sweater melons. (see above) The zone is a breeze, and the only hard part about this level is Big Bertha.

Now, I don't know her real name, but I think Big Bertha was a helluva lot nicer than 'this monster.' Pardon my French, but she was a pute. Not only does she notch two health per swing, but she has a ranged syringe attack. Plus she can take a few punches, possibly more than fifty. It became a game of jumping back and forth over and over and over and over again, constantly knocking her in the tits. This fight took more than patience from me. I took two or three breaks, had to go over and over again. Plus, she totally pulls her pants down and assumes the position. I think.

After Bertha we traveled to some Japanese garden for God knows what reason. Oh yeah, to let some birds loose. Caged birds. You know, like some people's pets. Sure, they might have been the kid-punching-ninjas, but still, that's property man. It was in the Japanese Gardens that I learned about the almighty powers of the time limit. The time limit has the power to kill you, rob you of one life, all when the clock strikes double zero. Or not. Maybe. If it feels like it. I died once on this level because the clock hit zero, and the other time...I  completed it. Wow. Great mechanic. It begs the question, why does this game even need a clock mechanic? Maybe to increase the speed and up the difficulty? Thank God Megaman didn't have a time limit, else I'd be fucked. Mario's time limit was wholly doable, but 3NKB's time limit is cold and unforgiving, especially on the longer levels. Or not. Maybe. If it feels like it.

Next time I will finish up this game and give my final thoughts! Dingbang out!


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