Saturday, November 20, 2010

Illusion of Gaia (Part 2)

Well, I promised semi-regular posting, and here we go. After playing IoG on and off for a bit, I'm ready to update more. Let's get to the screens!

Using your fairy-wand-thing to pull an orb to you, and a pig with a key on it's collar. Brilliant.

We left off with DINGB- sorry, Will being thrown in the dungeon. I can't say I blame the king, if some punk little shit didn't have what I wanted, I'd throw him in the dungeon to rot for the rest of his blonde-haired little life. I sat down there for practically forever until my dad contacts me. Yes, the dead one. My dead dad contacts me and DINGB- sorry again, Will takes it like a champ. This is where we find out it's not actually a gay little purple wand, but a gay little purple ocarina. Flute, damnit, sorry! Anyway, Hamlet waddles along towards the cell eventually, with a key on his neck from that crushing princess. Escaping from the cell, I again found one of those black portals that leads you to Gaia. Pity they couldn't have put me in that cell. Smart guards, I suppose.

Advice: All women serve to bring you sandwiches. For truth.

Anyway, after saving at the Gaia point, I continued through the dungeons. Remember, they're a maze. They're a maze without any dead ends, so, basically, a linear path from cell to exit. But have no fear! Here's the first real combat of the game. There are three basic types of enemies in the dungeon area, and they are: a bat (standard), a skeleton (standard), and a snake-eye-laser-shooting-thing (WHAT THE FUCK?!) Yup. They pop out of the water when you get too near, spin their head around, and then shoot a laser beam out you. It's fairly easy to dodge, but if you've got a couple of bats or skeletons around, it's a bitch. But the first real dungeon introduced something called orbs. When you defeat all the enemies in a room or area, you'll get an orb which increases Attack, Defense or Health. I like this. It gives me a reason to clear out an area instead of trying to painfully dodge enemies like in most ARPGs. Sometimes enemies drop other orbs that clear new pathways forward or easier ways to backtrack.

Look at that skellie. He just can't wait to get his hands on my smooth child body.

Eventually I got to another dark portal. But there's something new in the room... a statue of a long-haired guy with a sword and a cape. A magician perhaps? Touching the portal transformed me into said long-haired man with sword and cape, named Dark Friedan. There's something to be said about a creepy statue that turns you into an older man. Magicians are creepy anyway, but this is a new level.

The transformations between forms.

Anyway, the main reason for switching to Friedan is because he's strong as all hell and doesn't have a faggy flute. His sword doubles your damage and he takes less damage. So then the question becomes why don't you stay as Friedan forever? I mean, a guy that can tank like that can surely learn to blow on a faggy flute and carry it with him everywhere. I really am anxious to see the reason why you would ever go back to Will.

Okay, maybe not that annoying...
Exiting the dungeon, I immediately stepped forward... And kneeled to  allow my awesome magician powers to float away. Fuck! Apparently the reason is because the magic gets weaker the farther you are from the portal. That sucks. It makes sense but it sucks nonetheless. After I exited, a few minor things happened. A flower came down and transformed into another annoying little girl, I stole the princess from the castle as well as a piece of meat (worth more than the princess if you ask me) and I went back home only to find it ransacked. Little flower girl suggested I travel to her village ASAP, as I was needed. Yes, she does have a name, but she's annoying as fuck all and deserves no credit for anything she does in the story. (See: image to the right.) Traveling to said village, I found my grandparents chillin' nonchalantly, despite me missing and their house getting messed up and all.

These awesome things and more! Hopefully once later and never again!

Next time on Wintendo! Life, love, and the pursuit of... Incan statues A and B. Okay. I can work with that! But first, a shout-out. My good friend and my girlfriend's sister has started her own real life interpretation of Fahrenheit 451 on her blog, Disgraces to the Arts. She originally started ripping on Twilight, but decided to reboot and rip on not just literature but films as well. I'm excited to see what she rips into next (likely Pearl Harbor) and you should be too! So go check out her blog, found here on Blogspot.

No, she's not a Nazi. At least not yet. *Keeps his eyes on her*

Thanks everyone! And remember, we'll try being nicer if you try being smarter. :D


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